Time was when every little secret cove of the Cape Peninsula held a motley collection of seaside shacks, vicariously occupied in holiday times by a motley collection of wannabe seaside villagers and/or simple fisherfolk. Some of these shanty towns became places like Clifton, where your shack will now cost you R200 million or so. Others have steadily yuppified, transmogrified into respectable dormitory suburbs like Hout Bay, Llandudno, or Clovelly. Others have shaken off their shacks for monstrous displays of obscene wealth, like Noordhoek or even Kommetjie. Scarborough and Misty Cliffs are desperately trying to catch up; southern Simon’s Town and Glencairn got there long ago; I’m not even going to mention Fish Hoek. The Last Bastion of seaside shackdom left is Smitswinkel Bay. You can’t drive there; it has no electricity, no water mains, no refuse collections, no telephones and hardly any cellphone reception.
But Smits has mystique. It has 28 dwellings, from clapboard and tar shacks to fairly sophisticated-looking holiday cottages, and it has the best views in the whole Peninsula. It’s reached only down a long, sweaty footpath and that’s also the only way to leave.
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| Smits: the best views in the whole Peninsula |
“What do people do there?” we were asked by a bright young thing with innocent eyes and shapely curves, who could not believe that there was no road access. We met her at the parking lot, having just emerged, very hot and sweaty and plastered with rucksacks and coolboxes and dogsonleads, from the dreaded footpath.
“You wouldn’t believe it,” we replied .... so here goes; what goes on in Smitswinkel Bay – in no particular order.
In Smitswinkel Bay you can ...
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| go fishin’ ... and inspect the catch ... |
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| ... bark back at dogs... or chew the fat .... |
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| ... chill in the waves ... or chill out at the J&B house ... |
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| ... do jigsaw puzzles ... or frolic in the foam ... |
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| ... check your toenails ... or strike with your feet ... |
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| ... humpa leg ... or let it all hang out ... |
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| ... read last year’s news ... or play hide ’n seek ... |
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| ... sleep off Christmas ... or snog your girl ... |
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| ... surf giant boulders ... or pose for selfies ... |
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| ... throw kelp at your friends ... or keep your nappy dry ... |
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| ... walk the dog, or ... wanna play with the big boys ... |
Smits – we love you. And not least because you never, ever, ever feel like my last pic ...
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| Muizenberg Beach, New Year’s Day |
Kaartman, Derde Nuwejaar, 2014
Have a great year, every one!
